This is Part Three of a series of blogs I should have been writing from 1st June.
Over the years I have learnt that sometimes finding the right words isn’t always easy. Even as a writer we often struggle to express that moment or feeling in the way we want our readers to feel or understand what is happening. And, it’s even harder when you want to explain to someone personally, knowing that you are doing so in order to help them. Especially when that someone is a young adult. But more so when it is someone you care about.
Throughout my life I have always tried to offer suggestions or ideas to my children rather than telling them what they should do when a situation has arisen or where advice is required. My mantra has usually been: If you come with a question or problem I won’t tell you what to do. What I’ll do is give you a variety of paths with possible solutions and consequences. I can only listen and make these suggestions on how I think things might work out if you take a certain type of action. The decision as to which path you choose well, that’s down to you.
Besides, I never wanted to be the one who would say I told you so or was told why didn’t you make me do this. The decisions we take in our life affect us first but also many others around us. And it’s not easy.
I suppose that is why I write. Choosing the right words is far easier when you can write it down and then rub it out if they don’t make sense or its doesn’t sound right. Haven’t we all often wished we could have done the same in real life?
Unfortunately, with today’s modern social media we no longer have the option to delete. Once its out there in cyber space you are stuck with it. So, the decisions you make and what you say does affect a multitude of people. The damage you cause cannot be undone.
It’s also harder to accept when it’s being done to you. People who don’t think carefully before saying, writing or doing things that hurt others are uncaring and often selfish. And the closer to home it comes the more spiteful and hurtful the the perpetrator is. At least in the victim’s mind.
And so, just as you would when writing a story, think before you speak. Stop and read out loud before you click the send button as unlike the word document you cannot delete once it’s gone.
And remember you may have had a few seconds of satisfaction but the hurt lasts and in the long run you will be the one who will suffer. From loss of friendship, loss of love and loss of self-worth. If you can’t respect others then you don’t respect yourself.